The Imperfect List

In 1990, Big Hard Excellent Fish released a song called "The Imperfect List." It was an unexpected and devastating spoken word song, listing things that can crush a person's soul. What makes it all the more heartbreaking and poignant is the mix of heinous/ catastrophic things with small daily annoyances. Read in a dour Northern British accent, much of it is specific to the UK with Britishisms and references that make sense only to those in Great Britian. But much of it is universal... and true.

Inspired by songwriter/ singer (reader) Josie Jones, here is my own Imperfect List:

Cigarettes, Being ignored, Dirty hands, Wire hangers, The DMV, Mistreatment of animals, Insurance companies, Sports bars, Gambling, PE teachers, Child bullies, Any bullies, Automotive stores, Liver, The Grateful Dead, Marzipan, Fat and gristle on meat, Newspapers, Talk radio, TV news, Rap and reggae and country music, Football, baseball, basketball, Christianity, Organized religion, The American South (including Texas) and ESPECIALLY FLORIDA, Racism, Ignorance, Homophobia, Xenophobia, Chewing tobacco, Republicans, Greed, Hunting for sport, Airplane landings, Death, Bigotry, Female sopranos, Cancer, Pushy people, Competitive people, Lies designed to hurt, Heartburn, Vomiting, Flat underwear without a pouch, Poison oak, Screaming birds, Screaming children, Empty buzzwords and phrases, Small town mentality, Lack of imagination, Tight shoes, Used car salesmen, Card games, Murder, Grotesque fish who live at the bottom of the ocean, Rednecks