Well, actually I watched it several weeks ago but I have been unable to really speak about it or even write about it without being overcome with emotion. The story concerns itself with a script writer, Adam (Andrew Scott) who is attempting to write about his childhood and parents who tragically died in a car accident when he was 11. At the same time, Adam meets Harry (Paul Mescal) the only other inhabitant of the new highrise apartment building they live in, and they begin a relationship. Motivated by his script, Adam returns to his childhood home to reconnect with a time long past, and through some sort of...power of...something...he encounters his parents, still living in the house, appearing exactly as they did before they died.
Normally when I write about a film here, I don't include spoilers, but I just can't do it this time. Warning: major complete spoilers ahead.
When I saw the trailer for this film late last year, I felt a resonance with it. I lost my parents in a very tragic way as well, albeit not at such an early age like Adam, but still young enough to regret that they were unable to see much of my later adult life and how things turned out. Like Adam, I am an only child and carry a theme of loneliness and alone-ness inside me. And of course, Andrew Scott is an out gay actor playing a gay character...and I am an out gay actor who has played gay characters. But what really shook me was his encounter with his parents. After my mom and dad died, I had dreams of them, which is not all that unusual when one loses a loved one. My father took his own life and interestingly, my dreams revolved around him coming to terms with what he did, not me coming to terms with it. But when my mom died many months later, they both came to me in dreams many times. These dreams had a very different texture than "regular" dreams. While I still dream of them at this much later stage in my life, the dreams feel more like "regular" dreams...not the hyper-real encounters I experienced just after they died. So I knew the idea of seeing someone encounter their dead parents in such a meaningful way was going to stir me, move me, perhaps upset me. But I was prepared for it. I can "go there." After all, I have been there, and come back. People can be so skittish of films (interestingly, books not so much) that take them to difficult places where they might be emotionally vulnerable. But as I said, I have been emotionally vulnerable, A LOT in my life, and it didn't kill me. So I was prepared. And looking forward to it. The film seemed to be something I needed to ingest.
What I was not prepared for was the extent of emotion and the tone of the film. It feels like a dream. There is a subtle, hushed quality from the writing, directing, and certainly the acting that creates an arresting sense of intimacy. All four leads are masterfully penetrating and perfectly thorough in what they are presenting...these might be career defining performances for each. Andrew Scott's staggering performance and his interactions with the equally amazing Paul Mescal give the film its real intimacy.
We are introduced to Adam and his seemingly lonely--and very alone--life in a London highrise. On a walk outside at night, he looks up to see the only other inhabitant of the building, Harry, staring down at him. Once Adam returns home, Harry knocks on his door and introduces himself. It quickly becomes obvious that Harry is quite drunk with bottle of whiskey in hand, and he asks to be let in so he and Adam can hang out, maybe have sex or not...Harry innocently and desperately says, "We don't have to do anything," which is a little heartbreaking right there. While both men flirt with each other, Adam declines and Harry wanders off back to his flat. So now we know our two main characters. And this interaction proves to be the paradigm for the entire film.
I've read some journalists and critics writing about this film who have come to the conclusion that Adam's interactions with his parents are completely in his imagination. But I am going to posit that it is completely not. After taking a train out of London to the town where he grew up, he first sees his father while on a walk on the heath. It actually plays out a little like a cruising situation, with the as-yet-unknown-to-us dad beckoning to Adam to follow him, and Adam follows out of a sense of curiosity, and probably that the man seems strangely familiar somehow. Dad, played by Jamie Bell, takes his son home...to the house he grew up in. When his mum, played beautifully by Claire Foy opens the door for them, Dad says to Mum, "Yeah, it's definintely him...look in his eyes." It is finally made clear who they are. And Adam of course is dazed and speechless at seeing his parents, as they were before they died when he was a child.
He begins a series of regular visits to see and spend time with them...to catch up. He tells them he is a writer and they are proud of him. He has an afternoon alone with his mum where she asks if he has a girlfriend and he comes out to her, letting her know he is gay. She is a little put off, asks him if people are mean to him, and expresses concern for this new disease gay men are suffering from called AIDS. He assures her that things are different now and while she needs time to adjust to the idea, one can sense that her love for her son is greater than any anxiety about his sexuality. And in one of the most touching scenes, he spends a different afternoon alone with his dad. They speak of Adam crying alone in his room after being bullied at school, and his father confesses that he heard him but never came to offer comfort. This is a very common situation with young gay boys and their families but particularly their fathers, where culturally imposed homophobic beliefs and attitudes cripple and prevent fathers from connecting in a nurturing way with their sons. Adam's dad mentions that he probably would have harassed a gay kid like him when he was in school, but is now understanding of what it truly means. Dad breaks down and apologizes for not being there in the way that was needed the most. Andrew Scott plays Adam's reaction to this in one of the most powerful, authentic pieces of acting I have ever seen.
Meanwhile, the relationship that Adam and Harry are forging is really quite beautiful and authentic. The sex scenes are phenomenal...frank without being tasteless or merely titillating, and they are needed to show the closeness between the two. They bond over their shared loneliness--Adam speaks of his life long terror of being alone, and honestly, how could one not have such a morbid fear, after having one's family ripped away from them at such a young age--and the fact that while Adam's parents departed his life, Harry's parents basically disowned him for being gay. In a way, they are both orphans. But Adam is very excited to reveal to Harry that he has been spending time with his deceased parents, and begs him to come to the childhood home so he can meet them. Harry is dubious about seeing people who have been dead a long while and once they arrive at the house, the lights are off and no one answers the door, very unlike all of Adam's encounters so far. Adam is confused and doesn't understand why his parents won't let them in. He leads them around the house to the back French doors where, shockingly, both Adam and Harry can actually see the parents inside, simply standing side by side in the blackness. It's as though Harry's presence in the mix somehow interrupted the magic or power at play.
Adam has a final lunch with his parents at an American-style diner they all loved when he was young. The waitress mentions that the three meals ordered is a lot of food...for one person. Clearly the waitress cannot see his parents sitting in the booth with him. As they wait for their food, his mum and dad want to know details about the car accident that took their lives, they express their love for Adam and wish him well in his life, to not feel the crippling loneliness he has felt his whole life, and they urge Adam to promise to invest his emotions into a relationship with Harry whom they say they saw through the French doors as well. Once they fade away into another realm where they can finally rest, Adam is left alone in the diner. But he can now return to his building to see Harry and tell him about what has happened, that he is ready to dedicate himself to a life they can share, that he no longer feels alone because he can open himself to someone without carrying--or even perhaps clinging to--an idea of loneliness. He comes to Harry's apartment, and when there is no answer, he lets himself in. We see he is immediately overcome by a horrific smell and consequently discovers Harry dead in his bed, wearing the same clothes as the night they met at Adam's door, clutching the same now-empty bottle of whiskey. Apparently, Harry has been dead for quite a while. But then Adam hears a noise in the living room. There stands Harry, agitated, on the verge of tears, imploring Adam, "Is that me in there? Am I in there?" We sense Harry is now regretful for the end of his life--perhaps his death was an accident (an inadvertent mix of drugs and alcohol), perhaps it was a deliberate suicide, but the real tragedy is that Harry has fallen in love with Adam and has seen that he too no longer has to carry around a motif of loneliness...and now it is too late.
And here is why I think Adam was actually seeing and interacting with his parents...because he was actually seeing Harry the entire time, too. Unlike his parents, Adam did not know Harry was dead...he had never been to his apartment since they had always spent time together in Adam's flat. And I don't--I can't believe that Adam was completely hallucinating an entire relationship with Harry. That would make him truly delusional, and the brilliant script-writer/director Andrew Haigh gave us no indication, clue, or information leading us to believe that Adam suffers from any sort of mental illness. Adam has been having a love affair with a ghost, to put it too simply. But a ghost that was somehow, inexplicably made of matter.
Of course where the film ends up is absolutely gutting, for three reasons: 1) Adam had just broken through his loneliness by working through the loss of his parents and was ready to dedicate himself to another person, 2) Harry too had worked through his ostracization and was ready to dedicate himself to another person, and of course 3) the couple cannot have a relationship since Harry is no longer alive. Now, you'd think this would be tragic, and it certainly is, (I have not been able to think about this film without crying and I am tearing up as I write this) but how the film closes is extraordinary. Adam now has emerged from his inner exile and has the strength and understanding to lead someone else out of isolation. Adam convinces Harry to accompany him back to his own flat. There, he leads him to bed and cuddles the ghost of Harry so he can heal and presumably move on from the physical realm, like how Adam's mum and dad dissolved. We see Harry, and then the pair of them turn into a pin point and a ribbon of light that expands and joins a universe of pin points and ribbons of light. So they are together...? However, Adam is alive since the actual physical world interacts with him. But perhaps seeing human beings as illuminated light, whether alive or dead, is meant to suggest that none of us are truly alone, that we are all connected in deeper, invisible, and powerfully immutable ways. However--and this could be my own issues of alone-ness--I just can't get past the idea that Adam is once again completely alone. He succeeded, he did it, he healed, he worked through his past and the death of his parents, and opened himself to life, but now he cannot be with Harry, and, having suffered two great losses now, he is still, horribly, utterly alone. My heart and spirit goes to Adam...but perhaps he has the strength now to either endure/reframe the idea of loneliness as well as the openness to allow someone else in to his life.
Recommend? Yes. It contains not only an incredibly moving, touching, tender story but also presents some of the finest performances on film. The film and actors have won several awards already including from the British Independent Film Awards, the London Film Critics' Circle, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association Awards, and as of this writing has received six BAFTA nominations (awards given February 18, 2024).
https://www.searchlightpictures.com/all-of-us-strangers/
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