Born in 1971, filmmaker Darren Stein grew up in Encino in the San Fernando Valley. Through the advent and commercialization of technology and electronics in the 1980s, video cameras became a viable commodity, financially in reach of most middle-class families and Darren’s father bought one for the family. And it changed Darren’s life forever.
“Put The Camera On Me” is a documentary of Darren’s childhood, his friends, and their obsession (well, mostly Darren’s obsession) with creating films. It reminds me so much of my own childhood; I was constantly creating plays, dramas, comedies, and puppet shows but unlike Darren, a home video camera was something in the distant future. Instead, I used what most kids had easy access to in the decade before video cameras: a tape recorder. All one needed was an outlet or batteries and a cassette… even a C30 would do. In essence, I was making radio shows.
But Darren had the luxury of working easily with images on video. He and his friends, much easier than I could have, imitated whatever was in the popular culture, including sit-coms, horror films and TV action dramas. It is fascinating to watch children interpret adult stories. In one awkward home movie, Darren and his friends act out some kind of World War II concentration camp scene in which they are going to “keel ze Jew.” They made their own version of the classic horror film “When A Stranger Calls” starring Carol Kane. Darren wrote musical theater pieces for his friends to perform (in one touching scene, a boy sings, “I have no friends” and two other boys eventually join him, singing “We’ll be your friends,”). They also acted out their own versions of music videos from MTV.
So, on this level of seeing how pop culture informs and shapes children, the film as a documentary is mildly interesting. I honestly can’t say what Stein’s true intention was for this documentary, but for me, it had connections to a lot of other ideas and issues. I feel that Stein knew these connections were there, and possibly did not know where to go with them, or possibly let them simply speak for themselves without much editorializing.
The biggest issue is that Darren Stein is a gay man, and watching him as a child, it is quite easy to see that he was gay even then. There is no question that we are watching a young boy who, despite the fact that he has no true knowledge of his own sexuality at this point, will—WILL—grow up to be gay. Stein’s mother who is interviewed in the film, nonchalantly says that Darren was always very flamboyant. His father says that he suspected his son is gay, it was just never a big deal. It was not something that worried either of them. So Darren clearly came from a family that was mentally healthy and well-adjusted (as much as any family can be). He had the support of his parents, and I suspect that he never got any shame or guilt because of his mannerisms, his interests, or his actions. They just didn’t see anything bad about being gay.
So this aspect of the film led me to think about a lot of different but related issues. I thought of how current anti-gay hate groups and the Radical Christian Agenda (who, along with most of the current GOP buffoons, want to throw us all back to live in the Dark Ages) claim that being gay is something that one chooses. They claim it is literally a choice. But all one needs to do is look at kids like Darren and see that there was no choice for him. This is something that is innate and natural for him. Sexuality is something that manifests in an individual the way any personality trait does. The Radical Christian Agenda need people to think that it is a choice in order to destroy any positive gay identity that a gay man or woman could have. The Radical Christian Agenda's insidious claim that being gay is not natural is a lie; gay behavior is seen in every species on our planet. It occurs naturally in all animals. And it is a crime that certain gay kids who exhibit behavior that makes adults uncomfortable get slammed with lies, with shame, and with guilt, all based on some ridiculous superstitions in an ancient book written by desert dwellers. Many of these young gay children take their own lives rather than be subjected to, and truly tortured by such uncontrolled and irrational hatred.
And I myself, as a gay adult male, am subject to some of this same kind of discomfort. There is a section in the film where we see Darren, in his bedroom, dancing and lip-synching to "Rumor Of Love" by Berlin, a typical 80s song. He twirls, thrusts his hips, and gyrates like early Madonna and I found myself, on a deep, visceral level, saying to him in my mind, “No no, don’t do that… don’t be so feminine.” Now, I consider myself to be a fairly well-adjusted gay man, but it is scary to see how the shame, sex-negative attitudes, and fear can still get in. Of course my discomfort was short-lived as I immediately felt a contrary emotion: joy and pride. Here was a kid who was just having fun and being himself. There is nothing intrinsically wrong, sick, evil, or perverted about that. I found myself celebrating with him. Yeah, he’s a little gay boy. Big deal. Now what? And by this same token, it was warming and so pleasing to see Darren Stein’s parents treat his sexuality as a non-issue.
Beyond this, there is also the issue of the undeniable link between being gay and creativity. What would the arts be without the rich and priceless contributions of gay men and women? Is there some kind of inherent drive toward creativity—generally speaking—that manifests in gay men? It’s clear that what Darren was doing was expressing something innate inside of himself. And I know that when I was making my funny radio shows and putting on puppet shows, it was related to some original, pure, and direct need to tell a story, to create an experience, and that influenced my decisions later in life to become a professional actor and an interior designer. An entire academic study could be devoted to studying the link between creativity and the gay community.
But back to the the fallacy of choosing to be gay: the Radical Christian Agenda need to perpetuate that lie in order to continue to control people’s sexuality based on their hurtful, sick Christian superstitions. So let's examine this logic of the Radical Christian Agenda, that sexuality is something one chooses. This means, by their own logic, that being heterosexual is something that one chooses as well. But I don’t think I have ever heard anyone in the Radical Christian Agenda say that when they were young and their sexuality was developing, that they looked at members of the same sex as well members of the opposite sex and chose to be heterosexual. So if they claim that sexuality is a choice, why does it only work one way? The nonsense and lies about letting gay men and women around children is just as bizarre and repugnant. There are plenty of kids who grow up to be gay men and women who never had anyone gay around them. And I can use myself as an example here. There were no gay men around me when I was growing up. There were no gay role models. They just weren’t there. So I was not “recruited,” and my developing sense of sexuality was not “tainted or perverted” by anyone or anything. Like Darren, I was a gay boy who would grow up to be a gay man. And my parents, like the Steins, knew that fact and thought there was not much to get upset or excited about. Nothing and no one can "make" someone gay. So this lie of choice and influence/ indoctrination/ recruitment breaks down in their logic. It doesn’t make sense because it is simply not true. But logic is not their strong suit—they don’t really care about logic or reality because their position is not logical to begin with. (If you can believe, with all seriousness, in "Satan" or a story in a book of mythology about a talking snake, well then, you can believe in all sorts of things that aren't true or real, and by the same token, deny what you simply don't want to be true, because it doesn't fit with your ancient superstitions.) The Radical Christian Agenda’s bigotry and fear of gay sexuality says infinitely more about them than about being gay. I truly believe that if you are a male obsessed with defeating gay rights and obsessed with the very idea of being gay (the way most of the men who run the current crop of anti-gay hate groups are), then you are gay yourself. If you are a woman tirelessly and ceaselessly working to hurt gay men and women, to take away their rights and very identity, then you are brain-washed by a sex-negative superstition that shames you into denying your own sexuality. I have heard women from the Radical Christian Agenda claim that anything other than Missionary-position sex for procreation is against God’s will: no oral sex, no masturbation, no anal sex… for STRAIGHT MARRIED COUPLES! It’s really a sex-negative attitude that can be traced directly back to the neuroses and mental imbalances of the Puritans.
Like I said earlier, I am not sure if Darren Stein consciously decided to put all of this in his documentary. He and his friends and family certainly speak about Darren’s sexuality—and one of his childhood friends that we see in the home movies grew up to be gay as well. But I feel that these ideas are too large to be contained within the framework of this film. Perhaps Stein consciously chose not to editorialize about any of this so as to let these ideas expand and breathe on their own. It is also possible that, if one were not aware of such issues, the film would not bring them up. But I am aware of these issues, and for me, the film did bring them up.
Recommend? Yes. It works on several levels. Try it and see…
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