Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts
Showing posts with label loss. Show all posts

Monday, October 12, 2026

Matthew Shepard, 1976 - 1998

Image from The Matthew Shepard Foundation on Instagram

In 1998, I recall all too well hearing on the news about a young man who was found in Wyoming, tied to a fence and beaten nearly to a literal pulp and left for dead. And I recall the news covering the details of such a shocking attack, and the fact that the victim of this hate crime was a young gay man, Matthew Shepard. And I recall very well his death six days later, October 12th at 12:53 a.m. I wept. For him and his loving family and for the life he would not get to lead. But also for all the other gay men and women whose lives had been ended at the hands of a criminal filled with irrational fear of and hatred for another human being's life. But ultimately for me ... because that could have been me, so many times, tied to a fence and left in the cold and night, to die alone. I escaped my attackers but others were not so lucky.

Out of his senseless and savage death came a sense of resolve where concrete changes took root.

The Matthew Shepard Foundation was created by his parents, Judy and Dennis. The Foundation works in schools, communities and with faith leaders to reduce hate and replace it with understanding.

Angel Action was started by Romaine Patterson, one of Matthew's friends.

The Matthew Shepard and James Byrd Jr. Hate Crimes Prevention Act (H.R. 1592) ws introduced in March of 1999 but frustratingly, was not signed into law until over 10 years later, by President Obama on October 28th, 2009. During that 10 year period, the legislation was introduced and reintroduced in several different forms in a fairly rancorous back-and-forth, roughly along expected party lines (though not always so). Supporters, mainly Democrats, framed it as an overdue civil rights update to address violence intended to terrorize entire communities. Opponents countered that it was either an unnecessary federal expansion into state prosecutions, or that it created different classes of victims. The Bush White House leaned hard on the states rights angle. Some conservative critics used tired diversionary tactics and latched onto so-called "thought crimes" concerns. Supporters pointed to First Amendment carve-outs and argued the bill punished violent conduct, not speech. But the culture wars of the time, especially around LGBT protections, made it a proxy fight for a lot of bigger debates.

But most importantly, Matthew's ashes are interred in a crypt in the Washington National Cathedral in D.C. To be interred there is a rare and profound honor, reserved for individuals whose lives hold particular significance in the nation's story (the last figure to be interred there was Helen Keller some 50 years before). Matthew Shepard's resting place there acknowledges not only the tragedy of his death, but the enduring place his life and legacy have come to occupy in America's long struggle for equality and human dignity.

Many years ago, I performed nine different roles in a marvelous production of the powerful stage play "The Laramie Project" here in Northern California, where I relived his destruction and the trauma it represented for our community. During this International LGBT History Month, I am remembering Matthew, his death, the continuing echoes of his loss for our community, and the resulting cultural changes. R.I.P. Matthew.

https://www.matthewshepard.org/

Saturday, September 26, 2026

Harvest Moon, September 26, 2026


Shortly after sunset this evening, look low in the eastern horizon and you will see a large and golden-hued moon ... with Saturn shining brightly bright next to it.


Cassandra Wilson died this month, September 1st ... thanks for the music Cassandra! R.I.P.

https://www.cassandrawilson.com/

Wednesday, September 23, 2026

Letting Go

“We cannot deeply love anything without becoming vulnerable to loss, and we cannot become separate people, responsible people, connected people, reflective people without some losing and leaving and letting go.”
--Joan Didion


“Things falling apart is a kind of testing and also a kind of healing. We think that the point is to pass the test or to overcome the problem, but the truth is that things don’t really get solved. They come together and they fall apart. Then they come together again and fall apart again. It’s just like that. The healing comes from letting there be room for all of this to happen: room for grief, for relief, for misery, for joy.”
--Pema Chödrön, from “When Things Fall Apart”

Friday, September 18, 2026

R.I.P. Duncan Sheik

And now we have lost Duncan Sheik, talented singer-songwriter and Grammy AND Tony winner, who created some lovely songs as well as the genre-changing musical "Spring Awakening." Artists are leaving us at a quicker pace these days...


R.I.P. Duncan, and thanks for all the beautiful music.

https://www.duncansheik.com/

Thursday, September 17, 2026

R.I.P. Annie DIllard

I am greatly saddened to hear of the passing of Annie Dillard. Like many people, I approached her work through her Pulitzer Prize-wining book Pilgrim At Tinker Creek. Her writing is so immediate, so visceral, so breathless and urgent in its need to be heard, its need to be understood, but more than anything, for the reader to comprehend and stand dazzled in cosmic disbelief at what she discovered, whatever she pointed us toward.

I went on to read many of her other books like Teaching A Stone To Talk,  For The Time Being, and the beautifully tender and painfully exquisite memoir An American Childhood. She wrote words, sentences, concepts, that made me gasp out loud and cry.

Thank you Annie, for sharing your heart and soul with us. You have enriched humanity and you will be missed.

Annie Dillard | Photo: Phyllis Rose

“What does it feel like to be alive?

Living, you stand under a waterfall. You leave the sleeping shore deliberately; you shed your dusty clothes, pick your barefoot way over the high, slippery rocks, hold your breath, choose your footing, and step into the waterfall. The hard water pelts your skull, bangs in bits on your shoulders and arms. The strong water dashes down beside you and you feel it along your calves and thighs rising roughly back up, up to the roiling surface, full of bubbles that slide up your skin or break on you at full speed. Can you breathe here? Here where the force is the greatest and only the strength of your neck holds the river out of your face. Yes, you can breathe even here. You could learn to live like this. And you can, if you concentrate, even look out at the peaceful far bank where you try to raise your arms. What a racket in your ears, what a scattershot pummeling!

It is time pounding at you, time. Knowing you are alive is watching on every side your generation's short time falling away as fast as rivers drop through air, and feeling it hit.”

― Annie Dillard, An American Childhood


https://www.anniedillard.com/

Saturday, August 8, 2026

R.I.P William Orbit

William Orbit, 2022 | Photo: Eva Pentel


R.I.P. William. Thanks for the amazing sounds.

https://www.williamorbit.com/

Sunday, June 21, 2026

Monday, May 25, 2026

Memorial Day 2026

Today is Memorial Day in the United States, a day for remembering the people who died while serving in the country's armed forces. And I want to honor two of my own relatives who fought Fascism...one died in World War I and the other fought valiantly in World War II.


My ancestors fought and died to make sure Fascism did not spread around the world and to the United States. I know both of these men (one of them an Italian immigrant), if they were alive now, would be appalled and outraged that Fascism is being welcomed back not only in countries around the world, but at home here in the United States, where Democracy should vanquish such things. My relatives died so the very thing that is happening now, wouldn't. And it makes me infinitely sad and frustrated that these men seemingly died for nothing...and that segments of the population of this country support the kind of nationalism, totalitarianism, disdain for facts and humanity, and suppression that are the hallmarks of Fascism.
 
I honor my brave relatives and all who fought Fascism. I truly hope that we can fight this frightening global movement to the right and ensure that they all died for the noble, uplifting principle of humanism.


"We are always at war. We spend twice as large a share of our GDP on the military as the world does in general. It’s the longest sustained period of open-ended combat in our nation’s history. And yet the country as a whole is barely affected. We have halftime ceremonies honoring the heroes. We let them get onto commercial airlines earlier, but we don’t think seriously about what they’re doing, the missions we’re asking them to undertake.

And, as a result, in my view, we have embarked on a series of unwinnable wars. We call people heroes and then send them to do things they can’t do....

When I was a kid in the ’50s and ’60s and then older in the ’70s, American pop culture reflected a country familiar enough with its military to make fun of it at times. You had shows like 'Gomer Pyle,' or 'Hogan’s Heroes,' or 'McHale’s Navy.'

You had works of art like 'South Pacific' or novels like 'Catch 22' and even movies like 'MASH,' respected the importance of the military and the important things it did that were heroic in the large scale, like World War II, but it was still made of real people with their real foibles.

But we — now we have started to have this artificially reverent view of the military that’s also distant and disengaged."
--James Fallows

Sunday, May 10, 2026

I Miss My Mom


Take one if you miss your mom too.

Saturday, November 22, 2025

"Heaven Up There" by Palace

"Heaven Up There" by Palace. One more chance to hug, to say I love you, to say goodbye...just one more.

 

Well the night is gone
And the shadows clear
When I hear my song
Will the grave be near?
See what you want
But I'm the rising tide
I'm no force of god
I'm a thousand lives
I take what I want
'Cause I'm the frightening sky
I'm a selfish man
Designed to die

But is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?
'Cause it's hell down here

Believe in existence spent
To separate us from them
To know that your blood runs thin
Is to live with the truth within
So scrape up the bruise I wear
And eradicate all my fears
Prepare me to walk these stairs
I don't know where my future is
I don't know where my future is

Is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?

Say I've been blind
For the use of my time
Wanna be a better man
On the ground that I stand
There's something out there
Just know that I've cared
Do this side by side
Motion with the tide
Ooh ooh ooh Ooh ooh ooh

Is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?
Is it heaven up there?
'Cause it's hell down here
Yes, it's hell down here
Is this heaven up there?
I know there's heaven up there
I know there's heaven up there
'Cause there's heaven up there


https://www.wearepalace.com/

Happy birthday mom. Is it heaven up there?

Friday, November 21, 2025

I Miss My Mom


Take one if you miss your mom too.

Sunday, November 16, 2025

I Miss My Dad


Take one if you miss your dad too.

Sunday, June 15, 2025

Tuesday, June 10, 2025

R.I.P. Sly Stone

R.I.P. Sly Stone (previously here). You were a true pioneer. Thanks for the music and cultural evolution.


Monday, May 26, 2025

Memorial Day 2025

Today is Memorial Day in the United States, a day for remembering the people who died while serving in the country's armed forces. And I want to honor two of my own relatives who fought Fascism...one died in World War I and the other fought valiantly in World War II.


My ancestors fought and died to make sure Fascism did not spread around the world and to the United States. I know both of these men (one of them an Italian immigrant), if they were alive now, would be appalled and outraged that Fascism is being welcomed back in so many parts of the world. My relatives died so the very thing that is happening now, wouldn't. And it makes me infinitely sad and frustrated that these men seemingly died for nothing...and that segments of the population of this country support the kind of nationalism, totalitarianism, disdain for facts and humanity, and suppression that are the hallmarks of Fascism.
 
I honor my brave relatives and all who fought Fascism. I truly hope that we can fight this frightening global movement to the right and ensure that they all died for the noble, uplifting principle of humanism.


"We are always at war. We spend twice as large a share of our GDP on the military as the world does in general. It’s the longest sustained period of open-ended combat in our nation’s history. And yet the country as a whole is barely affected. We have halftime ceremonies honoring the heroes. We let them get onto commercial airlines earlier, but we don’t think seriously about what they’re doing, the missions we’re asking them to undertake.

And, as a result, in my view, we have embarked on a series of unwinnable wars. We call people heroes and then send them to do things they can’t do....

When I was a kid in the ’50s and ’60s and then older in the ’70s, American pop culture reflected a country familiar enough with its military to make fun of it at times. You had shows like 'Gomer Pyle,' or 'Hogan’s Heroes,' or 'McHale’s Navy.'

You had works of art like 'South Pacific' or novels like 'Catch 22' and even movies like 'MASH,' respected the importance of the military and the important things it did that were heroic in the large scale, like World War II, but it was still made of real people with their real foibles.

But we — now we have started to have this artificially reverent view of the military that’s also distant and disengaged."
--James Fallows

Sunday, May 11, 2025

I Miss My Mom


Take one if you miss your mom too.

Sunday, February 2, 2025

R.I.P. Marianne Faithfull

R.I.P. Marianne Faithfull. It seemed that for most of her life, as sung by former boyfriend Mick Jagger, wild horses could not drag her away. She survived heroin addiction, anorexia, homelessness, and near-death from COVID. But now she's gone and she leaves behind a fascinating life and artistic catalog.

I first became aware of her in 1980 when she released "Broken English," a sort of "comeback" album...or at least a "transformation" album that saw her go from 60s-70s personality to contemporary, cutting edge artist. Here she is singing the amazing, pulsing title track.


Her version of the lovely "The Ballad of Lucy Jordan" was also on this album.


She delighted fans in 2002 with her "Kissin' Time" release that saw her collaborate with Beck, Billy Corgan (Smashing Pumpkins), Blur, Pulp, and Dave Stewart (Eurythmics). Here is the funky Beck/Faithfull tune "Sex With Strangers" starring supermodel Kate Moss.


Thanks for the music, Marianne. Have fun frolicking with those wild horses...

http://www.mariannefaithfull.org.uk/

Saturday, January 18, 2025

R.I.P. David Lynch


He leaves behind an incredibly dazzling, complicated, funny, frightening universe. He and his creations will be greatly missed.

R.I.P. David and thanks for everything. I hope it's blue skies and sunshine all along your way.